And So the Story Goes

It's been almost three weeks since I birthed Lucy. I have intended to write the story of Lucy's birth sooner, but for some reason it has felt very difficult to devote time to it. I mean, it's a birth story - it must be a great work of literature that can be read for generations to come. And, there is no concise way to tell a birth story. Only TLC can concisely edit birth stories to tap into the dramatic parts and shave out the rest. My birth story actually involves a lot of sitting and waiting.

In hindsight I can see that my labor with Lucy was very similar to my labor with Grayson, except I spent a majority of my labor with Lucy in the hospital. A quick recap, the labor I experienced with Grayson was very long but also very quick. I was dilated at about 5-6 cm for days. I woke up in the middle of the night to the sensation of my water breaking, and Grayson was born shortly after we arrived at the hospital.  Since everything was such a rapid whirlwind after my water broke, it was assumed that this labor would progress even faster once my water broke.

When I was pregnant with Grayson I wanted to labor at home as long as possible. I got my wish. I practically did all my laboring at home and in my sleep. My first birth experience was great. I cherished every unique minute of it. This time, however, I was not so adamant about laboring at home as long as possible. We live less than a quarter of a mile from the hospital, but the midwives still joked that I could deliver at home, in the car, in the parking lot - basically anywhere but the delivery room. With every joke I would give a small chuckle and mutter something like, "Yeah, my husband is reading Emergency Childbirth to prepare just in case." This would make the midwife laugh. But in my gut I would have a knot. John really did read Emergency Childbirth in preparation of a rapid birth, and I personally know women who delivered in their home, in the car (the gal just threw her legs on the dash board and gave a good push), in the hospital parking lot. As much as the extreme stories make good fodder for conversation, I did not want a birth experience that would require me to think about anything beyond allowing my body to do what it needed to do.

Thankfully - spoiler alert - John and I did not have an emergency childbirth situation in which we had to MacGyver our way through the birth of our child.

What Makes This Story So Special

Sometimes I have wondered to myself, "What's the big deal with birth stories? Why are so many women fascinated with hearing the stories of others and retelling their personal story?" It's not that I don't enjoy hearing other women's birth stories. I teach childbirth classes and one of the special aspects of teaching the classes is that I get updates to include birth stories. All the little details about childbirth are so interesting to me. I do wonder what makes birth stories so powerful, though. The stories of how I met my husband and how he proposed to me are stories I am certain to tell my children someday, but soon after the engagement the stories are not as relevant to the general population. Those stories have a very short shelf-life. I am very unlikely to tell a newly engaged woman my engagement story when she shows me her ring. Birth stories are different, though. A woman who has given birth sees a pregnant woman, and sometimes the birth story uncontrollably comes tumbling out. When I was in labor with Lucy the midwife recounted to me two of her mother's birth stories. Her mother gave birth to five children. One child she delivered in a New York City taxi cab, and her fifth child she delivered alone because no one believed she was in labor. I do not know the midwife's mother, but her stories quickly became some of my favorites, and the fact that I was told these stories while I was in labor adds so much richness. I don't know why, but it does.

This past week I gave birth to our second child and I was reminded of what makes birth stories so captivating - they are all so unique, and no matter how you look at it, giving birth is a big event. Not only is giving birth a big event, but it is a big event that quickly gets swept away with the realities of caring for a new little life. At least after a wedding there is a honeymoon period to soak up everything that happened on the wedding day. Everything after labor and delivery is such a whirlwind that it can be difficult to process what happened. Numerous times in the past week I have looked at Lucy and thought about the fact that less than a week ago she was inside me, and that concept blows my mind. When did everything become so real? After about the fifth time of contemplating Lucy's physical existence in my life I realized exactly what makes birth stories so sacred - they mark the threshold when a life was just something inside of you to when it becomes real. A birth story is a story about the finish line of pregnancy and the starting line of a new life. It's kind of a big deal.