Thought-Provoking Thursday

John starts his law program in two weeks. We have had a great, busy summer. We still have one last trip to go on before our summer of family fun is over. I have loved being together as a family this summer; we have definitely built many, many memories. I am ready for the next chapter to begin, though. We have known that John will be going to law school in August since this past December. In many ways I feel like we have already gone through school and are now ready to move forward. This feeling makes it hard not to jump ahead three years in my mind. As much as I keep telling myself to stay in the moment - to practice all the mindful tactics I educate my clients about - I can't help but tricking myself into thinking about life after law school. I tell myself that it is good to prepare, that we need to be strategic and think ahead. These thoughts are traps and they barrel me forward in time, to a time that I cannot predict, no matter how hard and long I imagine it.

I still go there though.

I am actively running the pros and cons to living in different cities and regions of the country. I know all this thinking is in vain, that in the end we will move wherever we move, and we will adapt to wherever we land.

I still go there though.

My mind is making it's own U.S. News and World Report list of best places to live. Really, USN&WR should contact me for some generalized stats and perceptions. I have been factoring the benefits of living near family, regional perks, cultural hubs, school systems, accessibility to other places, living costs, outdoor activities, community involvement, friendliness, opportunities for kids, proximity of close friends. All these categories lead me down longer, more confusing and theoretical paths. And did I clearly mention that I don't have much factual data that I am working with here? I get nowhere with my thoughts.

I know three years from now things will be clear, and I am almost certain that life and where we end up will be nothing like what I could imagine right now. I know we will land where we need to land, but I cannot stop myself from weighing out ideas. I imagine so many different places having very different influences on our family. I know there is no magical place, and I am not sure John and I are people who will truly ever settle down somewhere for the long haul, so we can have many different experiences living in different places. Now that we have kids, though, it seems a little more critical to find a good spot.

What do you look for when you think about places to live? Where is your ideal place to live?

Thought-Provoking Thursday: Full Disclosure?

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Last week I read this blog post from Motherlode about the dilemma of whether or not to disclose a pregnancy to a perspective employer. I had this dilemma when I was pregnant with Grayson. When I was nine months pregnant with Grayson I began applying for jobs outside Atlanta that would be more baby-friendly. I was uncertain about what approach to take in addressing my pregnancy, whether it should be addressed at all. I did not know the best strategy for going into an interview nine months pregnant. I picked out clothing that would minimize, maybe even hide my pregnancy. I did not want to be discounted the moment an employer saw my stomach. As things would turn out, I was in early labor when I was scheduled to have an interview. I had no option but to disclose my pregnancy, since I thought it would be worse to just randomly ask to reschedule the interview. It was surreal to email an potential employer to ask him to rearrange his schedule because I was in labor. My cover was blown. My disclosure did not hurt my cause, though. I got the job. Admittedly, I was very surprised I got the job. I continually told myself that no one in their right mind would hire a woman who just had a baby. I guess I am biased.

What are your thoughts? I think the dilemma could be challenging for women who about to get married as well. Would you tell an employer that you are engaged? It seems like a red flag to me.

Thought-Provoking Thursday: All Women Equal?

It's International Women's Day. This year's theme is "Empower Women - End Hunger and Poverty". I was excited when I started reading and hearing about Women's Day in the news, but this morning I got to thinking - why is Women's Day not celebrated in the States? There are news blurbs, and politicians makes comments, but that seems to be where the day ends. It's a national holiday in many countries, especially those in Eastern Europe. I don't believe the countries that designate today as a national holiday necessarily value women more than the US values women, so why has this day not picked up momentum here? I know that we do not have as high of a population of women who are facing hunger and poverty than in developing countries, but there are definitely hungry women living in poverty trying to make it day-by-day in the US.

The more I think about International Women's Day, the more I am confused. On the one hand it is clearly a political day, a day to call attention to the needs and progress of aide to women across the world. On the other hand, it seems like it is just a day to celebrate womanhood. Would it be a frivolous American thing to use Women's Day to celebrate all the fun things about being a woman, when women across the world are focused on just having their basic needs met? Would it be greedy if today in the States we focused on women being able to speak their mind without the risk of being publicly slandered (ie maniac radio personalities) when there are women in other countries just praying not to endure torture and rape?

What are your thoughts? What should Women's Day be about? Would it be strange to have different themes for different countries?

Thought-Provoking Thursday: Life Without Children

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During the past couple of weeks Lucy realized she is alive. The endearing "fourth trimester" most babies experience after birth has come to an end and Lu is beginning to take on her personality. It has been fun to see glimpses of what Lu's future personality may be like. Most signs are pointing to the fact that she will be feisty, but we will see who she actually becomes. I don't want to typecast her too early.

Grayson's recent developmental growth spurt and Lu's decision to tell us how she feels, has left very busy on the parenting front. Throw into the mix my return to work and our upcoming move, and there is a recipe for exhaustion. I keep reminding myself that in a few months this wild time will be just a memory and it will not seem as tough, even though every parent I talk to affirms that these months are a total bear - which tells me that they remember how tough things can be. I stare at mothers with older children and I tell myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I would be lying if I said my heart was boiling over with maternal joy every moment of the past three months. There have been many times when I have thought, "How did I get here?" The combination of tiredness and lack of personal time has led John and I to jokingly say to one another, "Our life!", when things are particularly tiring. Frankly, every morning this week I have started off by saying to myself and aloud, "My life..." The more tired we get the more John and I tend to reminisce about life before kids. Yesterday when I was in Atlanta I drove past so many places that John and I frequented before kids. We can never go back in time. Even when we go on dates or have a weekend away we are still parents. We still have little human beings depending on us. We still have the logistics to figure out just so we can get time for just the two of us. Pretending that we do not have children for a night or weekend will never be the same as when we did not have children.

Not every moment is this stuck-in-a-dark-damp-tunnel kind of moment, though.  That's kind of the paradox of having children. We have so many rich moments with the kids. I love watching Grayson and Lu interact. I thoroughly enjoy days like yesterday, where we just get in the car and go on an adventure, even if that adventure is simply going to IKEA. Whenever John and I are away from the kids and free from their immediate needs, we find ourselves talking about them, quoting Grayson, or looking forward to getting back to see them. When we went to Asheville for a weekend away from the kids we spent a  good portion of our time looking for fun gifts to bring back for Grayson and Lu. We missed the kids. A lot.

I am learning that raising children will be one of the hardest - if not the hardest - things I ever do. When I think back to my life before kids I briefly wonder why we gave up so much freedom to raise children. As quickly as that thought comes to my mind it is pushed out by the fact that for every minute that tough or tiring, there are so many greater riches to outweigh those hard moments. The kids bring riches that we could never experience without them. KJ Dell'Antonia's rebuttal on Motherlode to this New York Times article came at the heals of our weekend away from the kids. I like her take on things.

What do you think?

Thought-Provoking Thursday :)

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Something I have learned about myself recently is that I am a big fan of communication history. It fascinates me, really. I love the story of Thomas Edison dictating what would be said when the phone was answered. Did you know that someone wanted "Ahoy!" to be the phone greeting? What would it be like if we answered the phone by saying, "Who is this?" I am amazed that Thomas Edison's rule stuck and the general population to this day uses the phone how he requested.

Another communication break-through that I love is the emoticon. A couple of years ago my friend shared with me the email that established the emoticon.  I love that Scott Fahlman decided the emoticon was necessary because too many folks were not understanding email humor. Some of the articles I have read lead me to believe that the miscommunicated humor was a real issue in Scott Fahlman's world. Ironically, he does not seem too funny to me. Maybe the articles I have read need to insert some smiley faces.

Here is the famous email.

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One of the most interesting aspects of the emoticon history is the controversy surrounding it. On his website Scott Falhman argues that he independently created the emoticon, despite the fact that variations of emoticons were used centuries before the Internet. The emoticon definitely put Scott Falhman on the map. I was hoping he would list his communication breakthrough on his CV, but unfortunately there is no mention of the emoticon, not even under his "Career Highlights" section. Maybe he could have done his CV section title as "Career Highlights:)" and that would be enough said right there.

With the surge in technology that we have had over the past 20 years, it's crazy to think about all the communication terms and etiquette that have been invented.

Thought-Provoking Thursday

This week I have been thinking about the immigration laws in Alabama and a gripping series I recently started watching on Al Jazeera about fistula repair hospitals. But what has been the most thought-provoking for me - albeit seemingly shallow - this week is: Can I actually pull these off?

Thought-Provoking Thursday

First, this photo is terrifying, yet intriguing. Second, here is a brief article about Chinese censorship. Censorship is so foreign to me. I think of SOPA and the fight against that form of censorship, but the regulations of SOPA compare nothing to the Chinese government (my blog is probably officially being tracked now. More readership... ha!) It's hard for me to comprehend living in a culture that has so many regulations.

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There is controversy over this Mad Men promotional poster. Some say it is too reminiscent of 9/11. Fans see the poster simply as the silhouette that is shown during the beginning credits. I did have flashes of 9/11 when I first saw this poster, but my question is why there is not controversy over the opening credits, where this man is actually falling from a building?

P.S. We stopped watching Mad Men at the beginning of season 2. I loved the social commentary that was so big in season 1, but I felt like the show took a turn and became primarily about infidelity. Is it worth picking up again?

I would love to know your thoughts and comments, or anything that has been thought-provoking to you this week!