Another One Bites the Dust

2011 has proven to be a shocking year for me as far as retail stores go. I know the economy is not fantastic. No one has to remind me that this is not the 90's,  but I have been surprised when big retail stores takes the bullet. I was surprised when Borders went down. For months I had been talking to my friends about the inevitable demise of large bookstores, but I was still caught off guard when Borders made their big announcement. I went to Borders only once during its closing sale. Something about the disheveled shelves and haphazard merchandise made me too sad. Borders looked like it had been overturned by burglars. I didn't know I could be so sentimental for retail chains, but something about big stores going out of business gets me. It feels un-American. In the consumer-American sense, that is.

This week Filene's Basement took the hit and closed its doors. I was never an avid shopper at Filene's but I did do the Running of the Brides with a friend a couple of years ago. The tradition of the Running of the Brides was such a rite of passage for some women. It was an intense event, and maybe even ugly at times, but it was so fun to see so many women find wedding dresses. My favorite part of the day - other than the camping out and the anticipation for the doors to open - was hearing women and their "running team" cheer and squeal when the perfect dress was found. It was invigorating and very bonding when fights when were not breaking out over dresses.  Maybe Filene's could find a way to still host a Running of the Brides. America needs it.

Before doing the Running of the Brides we read an article about good tips. One tip was for everyone in the group to wear shirts or headpieces so they could easily be seen by each other. We chose these bunny ears because they were $1. When we got to Filene's at least 50 other women were wearing the same bunny ears. We should have guessed that women who were looking to get good deals on wedding dresses would also look for deals on headpieces. 

I think the Running of the Brides was the first time I really experience true mob mentality, where I had to keep moving forward or else I risked major consequences to my health and well-being. Thank you, Filene's, for that experience. 

I was thrilled to see so much camaraderie.

Ironically, this was taken at the end of the morning, after a lot of the chaos had died down. 

Things We Watch Drop

The other evening I was chatting with some friends about New Year's Eve and I was reminded of my resolution years ago to spend New Year's Eve in a different city each year, doing something new and exciting. At one point in my life I had really high expectations for ringing in the new year.  Clearly this was not a resolution that stuck with me, since I just remembered that I had once had such a jet-setter goal, and I have spent a number of New Year's Eves in the same city, doing the same thing. This year we will not be doing anything thrilling. We are going to rent a movie or two, hopefully something about New Year's - any suggestions? And we are going to hope that the kids go to bed easily so we can enjoy the movie. Chances are we are going to be asleep before midnight.

The goal of celebrating New Year's Eve in a new place each year has been rekindled though. I don't know when we will be able to begin working on this goal, but I thought it could be fun to start by going to some places that have fun celebrations involving dropping something at midnight. I am not exactly a Times Square gal, but I was intrigued to learn that the Times Square ball is made of Waterford Crystal. My guess is that folks with cable who watch the coverage from Times Square on New Year's Eve know about the ball being made of crystal, but this news was huge for me.

Here are some entertaining places that drop fun things on New Year's:

Bartlesville, OK: An olive into a martini glass. Who knew Oklahoma was so cosmopolitan?

Key West, FL: A ruby slipper with a drag queen named Gary "Sushi" Marion inside. How intense would it be to be inside the object that is being dropped at midnight? Surreal.

Eastport, ME: A sardine. I love the accents and comments in this clip.

Eastover, NC: "Jasper", the wooden flea. I don't know who I love more, Jasper or the man holding Jasper.

Elmore, OH: A sausage. This New Year's celebration also includes a raw sausage toss and a sausage eating contest.

Beavertown, PA: A beaver. Pennsylvania proves to be the state with the most variety and literal things dropped. Frogtown drops a frog. Carlisle drops a car. Dillsburg drops pickles. I chose Beavertown mainly because this video won me over. I love the captions and commentary.

Mobile, AL: A Moon Pie. Before midnight a four foot Moon Pie is served, and Moon Pies are handed out at midnight. Tasty. I am always up for free food.

Tallapoosa, GA: An opossum.  Somewhat morbid, but quirky all the same. I cannot tell from this clip if the opossum is dead or just terrified.

New Orleans, LA: It was a gumbo pot, but now it is a fleur-de-lis.

I need to get cracking on making my New Year's Eve tour a reality. 

And So the Story Goes

It's been almost three weeks since I birthed Lucy. I have intended to write the story of Lucy's birth sooner, but for some reason it has felt very difficult to devote time to it. I mean, it's a birth story - it must be a great work of literature that can be read for generations to come. And, there is no concise way to tell a birth story. Only TLC can concisely edit birth stories to tap into the dramatic parts and shave out the rest. My birth story actually involves a lot of sitting and waiting.

In hindsight I can see that my labor with Lucy was very similar to my labor with Grayson, except I spent a majority of my labor with Lucy in the hospital. A quick recap, the labor I experienced with Grayson was very long but also very quick. I was dilated at about 5-6 cm for days. I woke up in the middle of the night to the sensation of my water breaking, and Grayson was born shortly after we arrived at the hospital.  Since everything was such a rapid whirlwind after my water broke, it was assumed that this labor would progress even faster once my water broke.

When I was pregnant with Grayson I wanted to labor at home as long as possible. I got my wish. I practically did all my laboring at home and in my sleep. My first birth experience was great. I cherished every unique minute of it. This time, however, I was not so adamant about laboring at home as long as possible. We live less than a quarter of a mile from the hospital, but the midwives still joked that I could deliver at home, in the car, in the parking lot - basically anywhere but the delivery room. With every joke I would give a small chuckle and mutter something like, "Yeah, my husband is reading Emergency Childbirth to prepare just in case." This would make the midwife laugh. But in my gut I would have a knot. John really did read Emergency Childbirth in preparation of a rapid birth, and I personally know women who delivered in their home, in the car (the gal just threw her legs on the dash board and gave a good push), in the hospital parking lot. As much as the extreme stories make good fodder for conversation, I did not want a birth experience that would require me to think about anything beyond allowing my body to do what it needed to do.

Thankfully - spoiler alert - John and I did not have an emergency childbirth situation in which we had to MacGyver our way through the birth of our child.

What Makes a Good Tradition?

Christmas Eve. John and I are still in the process of figuring out traditions that we would like to carry on as a family. It seems like each Christmas we have shared together has taken us by surprise or we have been in a transition period so we have not been able to give much attention to the holidays. This year we had intentions of making a tree to hang on the wall, but time inevitably got away from us. Here is our homemade tree from a couple of years ago.

We did not take any festive family photos, send Christmas cards, sit the kids on Santa's lap, or even buy presents for each other and the kids. Not buying gifts for the kids was intentional, since they are too young to understand gift-giving at Christmas. We figured we would save our money in that arena. One thing I did was decorate our mantle. That was an accomplishment.

A couple of nights ago John and I started brainstorming possible things we could incorporate as family traditions for Christmas. Every year my mom displays her Christmas village. It is always fun to see her display and it definitely adds to the holiday spirit. I am also trying to figure out meals that we could make as our traditional Christmas Eve and Christmas meals. Growing up my grandmother always made spinach dip on Christmas Eve. It was somewhat random but that was the only time of year she ever made it, so it was special.

Some fun and random holiday traditions friends have told me about:

- Baking dozens upon dozens of different kinds of cookies for the holidays.

- Everyone in the family getting new PJs to wear on Christmas.

- Opening one gift on Christmas Eve, or opening all the gifts on Christmas Eve. We opened all our gifts on Christmas Eve and then received some loot from Santa on Christmas.

- Each year my friend's parents hang their "First Christmas" ornament together on the tree. (I feel like that would make for some fun photos if a photo was taken of that moment each year).


What are some of your holiday traditions?

Family Bunker

I have been out-of-pocket for the past few days because we have been visiting family out of town. Our time away from home was fun and it gave John and I some reprieve from adjusting to the schedule of both kids since grandparents are always more than eager to spend quality time with their grandchildren. One of my Christmas presents from my in-laws was a free afternoon to do whatever I wanted. John and I ate a slow lunch and Chipotle, and then we leisurely and mindlessly strolled through stores, full of Christmas sales and music, uninterrupted by children. It was a great gift, and I got some good deals on new clothes, too.

Recently a friend of mine asked if I was the 'tired parent' that she always hears about. She asked if the cliche is true that parents of young children and babies never get any sleep. I brushed off the idea, telling her that I do have to get up at night but I am not overly tired, or even sleep-deprived enough to make a fuss about it. The past few days out of town proved me wrong through. All four of us stayed in the same room, and bunking up as a family proved to be difficult. Lucy does not cry often, but she grunts and moans a lot. All of her grunting and moaning was enough to stir and intrigue Grayson. Once Grayson would wake up from sleeping he seemed to be convinced that he would miss something exciting - since a baby grunting must mean that something exciting is happening - if he went back to sleep. Each night John and I spent the crucial hours of the night awake, trying to coax Grayson and Lucy back to sleep, and trying to ensure that they would not wake each other up.

The sleepless hours and the drama of having Grayson and Lucy wake up each other made me think about all the families around the world who share such close quarters all the time. How do they do it? Do the children learn to sleep through anything?

Not Really a Gift Guide, but Fun Gifts

There is no debating that having a baby means getting a lot of swag. It seems like with the first mention of being pregnant the gifts start rolling in. I would be lying if I was modest about how enjoyable it is to get gifts in the mail each week. I am grateful for every gift we have received. It seems like baby gifts can be broken into two categories: pre-baby and post-baby. Most of the pre-baby gifts are very practical and generally from the registry. The post-baby gifts get a little more adventurous. Here are some of my favorite post-baby gifts:

THE HAND-ME-DOWN
My parents saved my first swim suit. Who would have thought it would hold up after 29 years? I obviously don't remember wearing this swim suit but I have many photos of me in it. I am excited to maybe recreate some photos with Lucy wearing the swim suit.



THE FUTURE HEIRLOOM
My parents gave me this bracelet with the instructions that I pass it on to Lucy when she has children.


THE FAVORITE SNACK
My best friend knows my love for red velvet donuts and supporting local shops, so she surprised me with a gift card for grub. The gift card has given me the perfect excuse to take extra walks to Ike and Janes, and I don't feel bad about indulging myself with some donuts and tea.


THE PRACTICAL GOODIES
I have been wanting a Kavu bag for some time but I have not been able to justify buying a new bag, so I whimsically registered for a Kavu bag. Thankfully, someone went out on a limb and sent it to me! It's been so fun to use a new bag.


Hand sanitizer is such a simple thing, but sometimes it feels like I never have it when I need it. It was great to get a travel size to throw in my bag.


THE HANDMADE CONGRATS
This has been one of my most favorite gifts, by far. All of the children in Grayson's class colored pictures for Lucy. I love seeing toddler art.

Crystal Delivery

I was browsing the Internet and I came across these gems. I have a love for pregnancy and labor-related paraphernalia. It's all so quirky, yet intense. I will be sure to post some of my favorite items for purchase that I have found.

Here is the ad for these keychains:

Surprise your friends when you show them this unique keychain! This would make a perfect gift for someone who is expecting a baby!

Imagine their surprise when you "deliver" the baby. This keychain is made from very sturdy crystal clear plastic. It is about 3" tall.

The total price is $9.70. POSTAGE INCLUDED. Almost gone!

One of my favorite tidbits about these keychains is that they are made by a man named Greg.

What Makes This Story So Special

Sometimes I have wondered to myself, "What's the big deal with birth stories? Why are so many women fascinated with hearing the stories of others and retelling their personal story?" It's not that I don't enjoy hearing other women's birth stories. I teach childbirth classes and one of the special aspects of teaching the classes is that I get updates to include birth stories. All the little details about childbirth are so interesting to me. I do wonder what makes birth stories so powerful, though. The stories of how I met my husband and how he proposed to me are stories I am certain to tell my children someday, but soon after the engagement the stories are not as relevant to the general population. Those stories have a very short shelf-life. I am very unlikely to tell a newly engaged woman my engagement story when she shows me her ring. Birth stories are different, though. A woman who has given birth sees a pregnant woman, and sometimes the birth story uncontrollably comes tumbling out. When I was in labor with Lucy the midwife recounted to me two of her mother's birth stories. Her mother gave birth to five children. One child she delivered in a New York City taxi cab, and her fifth child she delivered alone because no one believed she was in labor. I do not know the midwife's mother, but her stories quickly became some of my favorites, and the fact that I was told these stories while I was in labor adds so much richness. I don't know why, but it does.

This past week I gave birth to our second child and I was reminded of what makes birth stories so captivating - they are all so unique, and no matter how you look at it, giving birth is a big event. Not only is giving birth a big event, but it is a big event that quickly gets swept away with the realities of caring for a new little life. At least after a wedding there is a honeymoon period to soak up everything that happened on the wedding day. Everything after labor and delivery is such a whirlwind that it can be difficult to process what happened. Numerous times in the past week I have looked at Lucy and thought about the fact that less than a week ago she was inside me, and that concept blows my mind. When did everything become so real? After about the fifth time of contemplating Lucy's physical existence in my life I realized exactly what makes birth stories so sacred - they mark the threshold when a life was just something inside of you to when it becomes real. A birth story is a story about the finish line of pregnancy and the starting line of a new life. It's kind of a big deal.

Transitions

My daily life has significantly changed since my previous post. I knew the change was coming, but it had not occurred yet, so I could still act like my life was always going to be as I was living it. On Sunday, December 11, I gave birth to our second child. Little Lucy Faye. When I gave birth to our first child, Grayson, my world was forever changed. There is no doubt that Lucy's arrival has forever changed my life, but the change does not feel as drastic this time. So far, at least. I know what to expect out of a newborn, and having a newborn seems a lot less daunting and time-consuming compared to our active toddler.

All this being said, I think it is safe to say that my posts will take a little diversion from being completely random in nature to being somewhat related to childbirth, family life, and all that goes down with having young kids. There are so many interesting quirks to having children that hopefully it will make for some fun reading.

Glory, Glory - What's Your Secret?

Over the years my relationship with Gloria Steinem has been somewhat complex. One of the biggest complexities is that it is a very one-sided relationship. She has no idea who I am. I guess that is how relationships work between icons and everyday people. In case you are wondering: she is the icon, I am the civilian. My relationship with Gloria has involved intrigue, admiration, questioning, disagreements. The fluctuation and battles in the relationship would seem that we actually know each other. For all the ups and downs I have had in my relationship with Gloria, there is one undeniable fact. It's a fact that is far less profound or deep than the general topics of our relationship, but it is remarkable all the same. Gloria has AMAZING skin.

The other day I was watching this interview with Gloria. I had the hardest time listening to the interview because I was so distracted by Gloria's skin. The woman is 77 years old! I fear that my skin care regimen - which happens to be just using baby lotion because that is what is convenient right now - does not have me on the path of looking like I am 50 when I am almost 80.

If ever I meet Gloria I have a list of questions for her, and I have promised myself that I will not shy away from the surface question about skin care. The woman's skin secrets could start a revolution.

Target the Ladies

This evening John and I took a trip to Target to pick up a few things sans Grayson. As much as I love our son, it is great to have the opportunity to stroll through a store without the risk of a meltdown. I was not exactly strolling through Target as much as I was waddling though, wondering just how close I was to delivering Lucy in the home decor section. As I waddled at a snail's pace, John and I ran into a few different people we know. I ran into someone I have not seen in years. It's embarrassing to run into someone I have not seen in years when I am in the state I am in: a big mass, barely moving, wearing the same dirty sweats I slept in last night. So much for making an impression that I have kept myself together over the years. The response to my somewhat disheveled appearance was, "Oh, and you are with baby!" For some reason I felt like a teen mom, or like I was an unfortunate pregnant woman. Oh well, I'll own it.

Target was buzzing with the masses and John posed the question about why women love Target so much. He asked what is so special about Target that brings women to it in droves. I did not have a clear answer, but it is true, the Target population tends to primarily be women (this is purely anecdotal evidence, of course). Sometimes I go to Target on a weekday and I am always surprised by the number of pregnant women or women with small babies cruising the aisles. I will see woman after woman, eyes somewhat glazed over, slowly pushing carts down each aisle. Sometimes it feels like it is "ladies day" at Target, but that would be silly because Target does not need to have such a gimmick to attract the gals.

I don't know the exact reason why Target draws so many women, but I do know that sometimes I feel an unspoken solidarity amongst the women at Target. Cheesy statement, and probably overly sentimental, but whatever. I have bonded with a number of women over the sales or clothing at Target. Even tonight, I had a couple of bonding moments. I spotted a cute shirt in a woman's cart and I commented that it was a good find. We chatted briefly about her good decision to purchase the top. Bonding moment. As I was making my way out the door a woman walked up next to me and asked, "Are you due any moment now?" I must have looked really rough by the end of our Target journey. When I answered, "Yes." The woman, biting her lip with enthusiasm, gave me a thumbs up, and said, "Best of luck!" Bonding moment.

I am a sucker for Target. I have found myself walking the aisles on days when I have nothing else to do. I am one of those women, but I am okay with it. It's all about solidarity, even if it is found on a sale rack.




*Image from http://crowbiz.wordpress.com/

Ready or Not

The most common question I am asked these days is, "Are you ready for the new baby?" In one word, "Nope." I have accepted the fact that I am not one of those women who is absolutely excited and always ready to bring another child into the mix. I know I will very much love all my children, but I am also realistic that transition is work, and sometimes I am not in the mood to work.

Everyday I think about how unprepared I am to have another child, and everyday I am one day closer to welcoming a new child into the world. Sure, I have clothes, a place for the baby to sleep, diapers, the car seat, all the things, but mentally I am still operating on being the mother of one. Last week, when I was having regular nightly contractions, I just kept thinking about how we have a good system of how things work in our house, and how another child is going to change that entire system. I am certain that we will adapt and that we will love our new little one so much that we cannot imagine the world without her, but adaptation takes time and effort. This week I am more open to the time and effort it is going to take to have a new little one. I have not have the reoccurring thought of, "What have we done? How did we get into this mess?" nearly as many times each day. I guess that is growth; I guess that means I getting ready to have this baby.


*Photo from http://www.turbosquid.com

Word Vomit

Pregnancy launches you into a whole new realm of Girl World. Being pregnant and being around a lot of pregnant women has made my conversational boundaries fuzzy. I am so comfortable and accustomed to gabbing about the everyday things like my cervix, dilation, effacement, the bloody show that my filter for what is appropriate in certain situations is all but gone. Today I went back to work after having a week-long holiday. The act of getting to work was enough to make me want to pack up for the day, and it was enough to make me too tired to adhere to any professional social boundaries that exist.

During a staff meeting I decided to discuss with my boss the risk of my water breaking at the office and the mess that it would be. I also discussed my options for getting to the hospital if I went into labor at work. One of the possibilities was to have my boss drive me to the hospital. He graciously said he could take me, even though I emphasized the damage that could occur to the interior of his car. Somewhere along the line I lost my mind and I heard myself gabbing about all the things pregnant women talk about amongst themselves, not the topics pregnant women discuss with there bosses. The only thing that kept me from going completely over the edge and into gory detail of labor and delivery was that I know that my boss has hemophobia, which leads him to pass out at the thought or sight of blood. It's an interesting day when the only thing that held me back from falling into the socially-inappropriate-in-the-workplace abyss was the fear that I would have to deal with a passed out boss as a result of my detailed conversation.

Inspiration of Look-Alikes

The other day I was having coffee with a friend of mine at a fun doughnut shop and look-alike couple came in for breakfast. I was immediately intrigued and in awe. The couple I gawked at the at the doughnut shop was significantly intriguing to me because I could not decide if they purposefully dressed alike, or if their style is so enmeshed that their overall look-alike appearance was organic. I decided that a short story needs to be written about them. I know a number of look-alike couples. I am in awe of every single look-alike couple I know. I catch myself staring at them, studying their similarities. Sometimes I wonder if I am part of a look-alike couple. I wonder if after years of being together John and I will be a look-alike couple. That would be intriguing, at least for folks with my fascination.

One indication of a look-alike couple is if you cannot determine if the children of the couple look more like the mother or the father. I am not talking about having children who are a good mix of genes, but more the inability to assign genes to just one person in the couple. Another - more obvious - indication of a look-alike couple is that the couple clearly looks alike. I cannot stress how much I am so intrigued by look-alike couples. I often wonder if the couples have always looked alike or if they have grown to look alike. I am sure there are research studies about this somewhere.

*Note: The image is fuzzy because it was taken from across the room with my phone. Clearly, I am a maniac for look alike couples.

Harmony in the Season

The time change this week ushered in fall and winter, and all the sentimental feelings that come with those seasons. Whenever the seasons change I am reminded of the power of music to conjure up specific feelings. Certain music played during the right season is perfection. For some reason it just feels fitting to listen to piano and jazz music in the dark evenings of the fall and winter. There is just something magical about music in the nighttime. Here are some of my favorite TV and movie clips involving music.

I love the sultry nighttime feeling of this clip from Treme.

Heartbreaking scene from You've Got Mail.

We have the family tradition of watching Into the Wild every Christmas season. Some say it is depressing, but it feels right to watch a movie about the great outdoors. Plus, the music from Eddie Vedder is amazing.

Not necessarily a winter clip, but this tribute from The Office is stirring. I don't have proof, but I think this was a surprise to Steve Carell.

Undercover Style

This morning on NPR's Morning Edition Yuki Noguchi reported on Jon Corzine's resignation from MF Global. In the report the Yuki Noguchi described Jon Corzine by saying, "Corzine, who wears glasses and favors sweaters, looks more like a professor, but inside he was pure business cowboy." there are so many things I love about this description: favoring sweaters, business cowboys. Hearing the description immediately got me sidetracked from the story about Corzine's investment approach to my personal style.

Recently I was discussing my grandmother's personal style. Ever since I could remember she donned the same signature style. It seemed that no matter the occassian she wore a variation of her same style. She was not a victim of trends or a slave to fashion. She was a woman who knew what she liked, how she liked it, and she rolled with it for decades. During the discussion my friends and I agreed that personal style is better, and far easier, than subscribing to the current trends. Sometimes I think this mentality is what leads me to take 'business casual' to a whole new level, but that is another story. It is intriguing to have a signature style, though. Having a signature style plants a firm memory in the minds of others, and it also lends itself to the element of surprise. How fun would it be to be pegged as a professor but actually be a business cowboy?

Second Child Syndrome

I have been far from proactive in preparing for this upcoming labor and delivery. I see how easy it is to let a second child come into the world without as many bells and whistles as the first. Poor second child syndrome. I am probably fostering it.

Yesterday I was very proud of myself for taking some intiative and pre-registering with the hospital. This is something that has been on my to-do list for at least a month. I confidently logged in to the hospital's website and carefully provided the most intimate details of my life online, details that would make any identity thief salivate. I was so pleased with myself when I completed the online registration. It was 9am, and I felt like I had done a solid day's work. Thirty minutes later I received a phone call from an unusual area code. I assumed it was a telemarketer, so I sent the call to voicemail. The call was from a sweet woman, Cindy, at the Alamance Regional Medial Center, confirming my registration. I realized that in my zeal to be proactive for this second child I registered at a hospital in Northern North Carolina, not the hospital down the street from my house. Again, poor second child syndrome; everything seems to get lost in the shuffle. Thankfully when I returned Cindy's call I received her voicemail. I was not ready to discuss my complete oversight and lack of awareness. It was a relief to leave a voicemail stating that I mistakenly registered for a completely wrong hospital, in a town I had never heard of, and to please cancel my resgistration. Later in the evening I received another voicemail from Cindy. She graciously offered me Internet browsing tips and provided the web address to the hospital where she presumed I was intending to register. Few things are finer than a gracious middle-aged woman leaving late evening voicemails with advice for navigating the Internet. She must be trying to break the cycle of second child syndrome.