Mr. Miyagi

This morning Grayson changed up his routine a little. Instead of requesting that I take pictures of him and Lucy he wanted to teach Lucy how to throw a ball. Grayson is big on showing Lu the essentials in this world. Grayson is a patient and persistent teacher, even when Lu is a not-so-eager student.

Teaching Lu the basics of what a ball is. 

Trying to show Lu how to hold a ball by forcing her hand on the ball.

Grayson then started his demonstration of how to throw a ball. 

Lu was intrigued by the demonstration. Grayson was eager for Lu to throw the ball to him. 

Even though Lu did not attempt anything, Grayson was proud. 

Leap!

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It's Leap Day! Since I am terrible at annual holidays, I've decided that Leap Day will be the special holiday that I do up big for the kids. I can handle every four years, right? All bets are off on Leap Day; anything can happen. I have uncharacteristically painted my nails yellow for this special day. I think we are going to head to Atlanta today and see where the wind takes us. I am debating whether or not Grayson is too young to really enjoy the Atlanta Children's Museum...

At any rate, Happy Leap Day! Do something fun!

We Got Away

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A couple of weekends ago John and I dropped the kids off at the grandparents' house and headed to Asheville. We had been looking forward to our getaway for weeks. We spent only about 35 hours in Asheville, but it was 35 hours of the highest quality. What made our time so nice was the ability to saunter around town, do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. 

Our children - like most children - have a time limit. Whenever we go places with our children we know that we have a limited amount of time to enjoy ourselves. If I take the kids shopping with me I have to strategically plan my shopping so as to get in and out of the store as quickly as possible. I make a mental map of the any shopping experience, for efficiency. There is no time for browsing, resting, or people-watching with children in tow. On our getaway I so much enjoyed the relaxation of sitting in restaurants with John, enjoying the sights around us. When the kids are with me I tend to have tunnel vision and I neglect all the interesting goings-on around me. I loved the opportunity to wander around with John and gaze at all the crazy things people do. 

Here are some highlights. . . 

Simply Speaking

Recently I chatted with a 15-year-old who is having a tough time getting older. She is enjoying high school but she admitted missing her younger years, when things were a little simpler, when she was more naive to the world. It was endearing to listen to this young girl talk about missing her childhood. I could relate to so much of what she said. I think what I miss most about childhood is the anticipation for all that could happen. I have already covered the major milestones I daydreamed about as a child: high school, college, my wedding, having kids. Now I am in a phase of life that does not allow for much daydreaming and idle time. So much of the anticipation I felt as a child is gone.

This past weekend my mom and I took Grayson swimming. While we were in the pool I thought about how much I loved spending time in swimming pools as a child. I loved the feel of the water. I loved diving under the water, swimming around. I can't remember the last time I played in a pool. I can't remember the last time I rode a bike just for the ride. I can't remember the last time I watched TV at a friend's house, with nothing else I needed to do. I want to bring back some of the simplicity of childhood. Adulthood is not bad; it's just different from childhood. John and I always remind each other to appreciate the phase of life we are in now, because we know a couple of decades from now we will look back longingly at how simple - albeit chaotic - this time was.

To childhood simplicity!

What were your favorite childhood simplicities?

Photos from Pinterest

Frivolous Friday

This week has seemed abnormally difficult. Our getaway last weekend was fantastic, but reentry was very hard. The kids were out of sync, we were out of sync; our family unit felt like it was running in irritating circles. During the middle of the week John and I exchanged texts, trying to figure out why this week seemed harder than usual. It felt like someone turned up the treadmill without our permission.

This week my goal was to focus on the positive moments and to find some frivolous things to laugh at.

Here are some of the positives.

Here are some of my frivolous finds.

Tents that are designed to look like more than just tents. 

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Yarn bombing. What do these folks do that allows them so much spare time?

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Seriously?

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Grandma went crazy. 

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Let the Games Begin!

Next month is a big month. John and I bought our tickets for the midnight showing of The Hunger Games. I love opening nights! I love the crowd dynamics, the buzz in the air. I am trying to figure out if/how I should dress up.

Here is a fun map of the possible geography of Panem.

Thought-Provoking Thursday: It's Okay to be an American Mom

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Parenting is a great mystery to me. It can be an overwhelming mystery. I think all the information women are bombarded with while they are pregnant is just the introduction into the sensory overload that comes as a parent. I find myself purposefully avoiding parenting conversations. I overhear women discussing parenting and I cringe. Just the thought of chatting it up about parenting practices wears me out enough to lock myself in the nearest bathroom stall. Don't even get me started on the blog posts about parenting... ironic, I know, being that this is one of those posts.

It's not the actual act of parenting that gets me so overwhelmed and wound up, but it's the chaos of opinions that tends to surround it. Grayson will be two years old next month. I have spent the past two years trying to get a sense of my son. What works for him, what does not. What is a standard developmental phase and attitude, and what is actually his personality. What are his strengths, what are his weaknesses. Getting to know a little human being, one who is completely raw and void of social masking, is a major task. For every observation we have made about Grayson,  John and I have given thought to our parenting style.

I wish parenting was simply figuring out your child and doing what is best for him or her. It's not that simple though. All the various thoughts and opinions on parenting make the job even tougher. Not only do you have to figure out your child, but you also have to sift through all the advice that circles around. One of the noises about parenting I have had to block out is the notion that American moms are lesser than other moms. There has been a surge in the media lately about the virtues of Asian and French mothers. At the risk of sounding like an obtuse American, I am perfectly pleased with being an American parent. I don't want to be a Tiger Mom and I don't need to be a French woman to raise my children well. Yes, our culture has some flat sides, and some of our children are not always up to par in certain situations, and there are absurd American parents out there, but I very much like being an American parent and I don't want to fix my parenting style to one that does not fit my children or our culture.

I was more than pleased, and I was extremely validated, when I read this article in the New York Times (and further discussed on Motherlode). Can you believe that the New York Times printed that it's okay to be an American mother? This is remarkable! Granted, it was an opinion column, but I'll take it. Not only did this article validate my ability to raise descent human beings, but it highlighted just how American I am. I am very American. I have known this about myself for a long time, but it is interesting to see that my nationality bleeds into my parenting as well. I have repeatedly joked that what I care about most for Grayson is that he exhibits social awareness. John and I turned down the opportunity for Lucy to go to a new state-of-the-art daycare facility because we felt like it focused too much on academia and not as much on independence and  socialization. It's not that I don't care about academia - our children are being raised by parents with a laundry list of degrees - but as a parent I feel like the academics will come in its own time. In effort to quickly excuse myself from conversations about education philosophies, I have made the statement that what I value most for my children is that enjoy what they are doing and have good social skills. In the past this statement has quickly ended the education conversation because it appears to be a completely different topic, but now I have come to find out it is just a method of American parenting.

Yes, our country has its faults and we are continually facing the facts of how we do not measure us to different parts of the world anymore, but at the end of the day I am very happy to be an American parent. My children may not be ever be world-ranked in anything, but hopefully they will be productive members of society and enjoy whatever it is that they do. If this is a weak form of parenting, oh well.

Quirky Prayer List

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I have never had a "Bucket List". I don't have anything against Bucket Lists, but the concept never really caught on with me. I am not sure why. I like to do things, and I have done a number of things that are stereotypical Bucket List items, but actually listing dream experiences never made much sense to me. Until the other day. I was researching potluck wedding receptions for one of my friends. (Side note: I think it would have been so fun to have a potluck reception. Thoughts? Would you go the potluck route?). Surprisingly, there is not a ton out there on potluck receptions, but during my digging I came across a blog (I wish I could remember what blog it was!) of a girl who had "cater a wedding" on her Bucket List. She was not a chef or in the hospitality business at all, so this desire was very random. As luck would have it, this girl's friend was in a pinch for a wedding caterer, so voila! She had a great experience of giving her friend a fun gift for the wedding, and was able to scratch that dream off her list. I like the idea of having things on the Bucket List that are more than just adventures that you can do anytime you choose. I like a list of dreams that would require many factors to align in order for them to come true. This subtle difference makes the Bucket List more of a Quirky Prayer List. (We all know how hip it is to be quirky these days... thank you, Zooey Deschanel).

This past weekend I started my QPL. Not all things on the list are quirky, and not all are extremely complex, but most are more than the typical Bucket List items. Most of my QPL requires that I learn new skills, stretch myself, and have various circumstances align. I only have 25 items of my list now but my goal it to get to 100. I am taking my time, though. I don't want to fill the 100 with a random mishmash of ideas that I don't really care about. Over the weekend John and I kept tossing back and forth ideas for our QPLs. Right now we have separate lists, which makes life interesting because it means that we will be very busy as both of us venture to check things off our lists.

As I started making my QPL I noticed a trend in my list. A lot of my items involve creating something or starting some sort of business venture. Interesting. I think if college students made QPLs it could be very revealing about what career they should pursue. Just a thought.

Here are some glimpses into my list. . .

The Largest Tuesday

Mardi Gras. Today tends to be synonymous with one thing: Bourbon St. It never fails that each year the national news coverage of Mardi Gras always shows crowds of inebriated folks making poor decisions in the Quarter. Bourbon St. and the rowdiness of the Quarter is not the New Orleans I know though. Hands down, New Orleans is my favorite city. It has a pulse. It has an attitude. It has culture. It has a strong personality. It has community. It has jazz. It is a city that disgusts some, wrecks others, and entrances and inspires many.

When I was in grad school my advisor told me that he doubted I would ever leave New Orleans. It is one of those cities people come to for a short stint and never leave. It burrows itself down into your soul and you can't get away. For me, circumstances led me away from New Orleans, but I so often long to go back. Unfortunately, just visiting New Orleans does not do the trick for me. My love of New Orleans comes from living there, the day-to-day life. I love the community and being a part of the community is not something that can ever happen during a visit. Maybe someday I will find myself once again within the eclectic and undoubtedly eccentric community of New Orleans. Until then. I will turn up the heat so it is sultry in our house and listen to WWOZ.

Tastings

This past weekend John and I had a getaway in Asheville. It was so great to have a night away, just the two of us. Randomly throughout the trip John and I would look at each other and confirm how much fun we were having sans children. Not that we don't love our children, but traveling without children is SO MUCH more convenient than traveling with children. We had no schedule. We could do whatever we pleased, whenever we pleased. We spent the day exploring downtown, stayed out late listening to live music, and we tried whatever new things we stumbled upon. One of the new things we tried was an olive oil tasting. I am a sucker for tastings and I love extra virgin olive oil. I eat it in some form or another everyday. The olive oil store we happened to find had at least a few dozen vats of oil. Some vats were pure extra virgin olive oil from different regions of the world. Other vats had olive oil infused with different flavors, like blood orange and berries. 

John and I were told to treat the oil tasting like a coffee tasting and to quickly slurp the oil to get the full effect of the flavor. This was serious business. When I asked about the possibility of tasting the various oils on bread, the olive oil purest explained to me that tasting the oil with anything else was "not how it is done." It crossed my mind that drinking straight oil may not be the best experience, but there was a woman across the room who seemed to be having a life-changing experience with the oil, so I went for it. 

I would like to say that I became of connoisseur of olive oil. I would love to share knowledge about the body and fullness of various kinds of olive oil. But my experience in the world of oil tasting was short-lived. I tasted the first oil in the line and as the oil rolled down my throat I could think about nothing other than the fact that I was afraid I was going to throw up all over the store. I had to quit the tasting tour after the first oil. Just thinking about it at this point makes my stomach churn. 

The experience does make me want to go on as many random tasting experiences as possible, even if I do get queasy. 

Have you ever done an oil tasting? How did it go?

Friday Favorites

John and I are dropping the kids off at the grandparents' house and heading up to Asheville for the weekend. We have been counting down the days to this trip sans kids. We love our children, but having two small kids is no joke. I am excited to have John all to myself. I am so looking forward to having uninterrupted conversations, eating at whichever restaurant we fancy and not having to consider if it is kid-friendly, and going to sleep whenever we decide.

This week has been very full with going back to work, sick children, and getting ready to go out of town. Throughout the week I did have a lot of favorite moments - Thursday proved to be particularly humorous in random ways. I can't get into all the details now, though, so I will leave you with the sketch that kept me and John laughing during the week.


FAVORITE CLIP

Every so often SNL comes out with a golden skit. There are times when everything just seems to flow perfectly and there are times when everything seems to go wrong (ie. the "Debbie Downer" skit with Lindsey Lohan where the cast could not help themselves from laughing). Either scenario makes for a very memorable skit. Last weekend Zooey Deschanel hosted SNL. This skit had me laughing and has had me coming back for me. All of the impersonations are dead-on.

YouTube did not have any better quality clips posted yet, but this works.

Have a great weekend! Make it quirky.

Thought-Provoking Thursday - A Stick in the Arm

When my employment dropped from full-time to part-time I lost my health insurance. Losing my insurance was not a huge deal; it just meant that I and the kids would be covered under John's insurance. The monthly rate of John's insurance was lower and the coverage seemed comparable, so we felt like we were getting a deal. Unfortunately, the hope of getting a deal on insurance quickly faded. Even though our monthly rate is lower, the co-pays are through the roof. I know this whining may seem insensitive, given that there are more folks than I know who are completely uninsured, but it's tough to have high co-pays with little children who need medicine and are at the doctor every month. The real kicker for me was the cost of birth control. I thought Obamacare ensured that women would receive free birth control? The co-pay I paid the other day was definitely not free.

I chose to use the pill as my form of birth control after Lucy was born because I am not a huge fan of having objects sitting inside of me, releasing hormones through my body. The monthly co-pay for the pill has me rethinking my opinions and considering implant options though. I was talking to one of my friends the other day and somehow birth control came up. She excitedly showed me her Implanon rod in her arm. I felt like I was witnessing some form of science fiction tracking device. It actually made me a little squeamish. As weird as it would be to have a plastic rod in my arm, it would save us hundreds of dollars. This dilemma of whether or not to take the plunge into birth control implants has been blocking my thoughts all week. It's been blocking my thoughts so much that it has made me forget to take the pill each day. Oy.

Have you used Implanon? What are you thoughts? Experiences?

Oh Holiday

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I've learned something about myself. I am terrible with holidays. I have looked across the blogosphere and seen many adorable Valentine's gift ideas, crafts with children, celebration plans. It all looks great. Can I ever pull any of those things off? Doubtful. For some reason every holiday sneaks up on me, even the most publicized holidays. I can't seem to pull together Halloween costumes. Christmas is a wash. So it's not surprising that Valentine's Day gets swept away from me too. I can't remember the last time John and I actually exchanged gifts for any holiday. Thankfully, John has the same issue as me, so it's a mutual relationship at least. Our gift exchanges tend to go something like this:
"Happy [Birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Anniversary]! I had this great plan to make you such-and-such, and I planned to do such-and-such, and I know you wanted this-and-that, but I ran out of time."
"Oh, that's fine. I love you."
"Love you, too."

Having children has put pressure on stepping up my holiday game. This year I had every intention of having Grayson make some cards and cookies for his grandparents. Lucy was going to somehow get in on the fun too. It was going to be adorable. I would take pictures of the magical moments we shared in the process of making things for others to love and cherish. I bought the sugar and sprinkles for sugar cookies. I had visions of Grayson pouring way too much sugar on the cookies, but that's the way sugar cookies made by toddlers should be, right? I had ideas for card-making. I planned to get something little for Grayson, in hopes of starting a fun Valentine's tradition. Nothing panned out. It would be one thing if we made the cookies but did not get around to sending them to the grandparents, but we did not even break out the sugar and sprinkles.

Late last night I remembered an email from Grayson's school about the Valentine's card exchange at school. Last year I did not do anything for Grayson's classmates. I figured infants were content enough with each other's company and did not need written affirmation or gifts to feel loved in their budding friendships. Grayson was the only infant who did not express his love through cards and gifts last year. I felt silly and a little disturbed. Who decided that we needed to play this game of infant Valentine's? How did everyone know to get on board? This year I decided give in and play the game. So the kids can't read yet. So they don't know what Valentine's Day is. Who cares! So late last night I scribbled each one of Grayson's classmates names on hologram Valentine's Day cards that read things like, "Be Peaceful!"(witty thing to give a toddler, huh?)

When we got to Grayson's school this morning I gave him the stack of Vaentine's Day cards to take in to class with him. I wanted to create the mirage that the cards were actually from Grayson. He carried the cards with hesitation and tried to pawn them off on anyone in sight. When we got inside Grayson quickly gave the stack of cards to his teacher, and that is when it hit me - I forgot the teachers! I looked around the room and there were multiple gifts - even some gift baskets spilling over with goodies! - for the teachers. The other parents did it again. Somehow they got the memo.

The gauntlet for being on top of holidays has officially be thrown.   

The Return

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Today is my first day back in the office. One of the first things I realized when checking my eight weeks worth of unread emails was that I technically could have delayed my return from maternity leave to March 5. I was tempted to pack up my things and head home, act like I never returned to the office, but unfortunately I had already engaged with everyone I work with. So I lost three weeks of maternity leave. I am still not sure how I feel about that.

The entire day has been a bit surreal. It was a very big challenge for me to return to work after Grayson was born. I was devastated each day I dropped him off at his school (I call his daycare "school" because it has less of a negative connotation to me). I resented the caregivers at Grayson's school because they were able to spend each day with him, and they would tell me about Grayson's development. I always wanted to scream, "Please don't tell me about my child! I'm his mom! Don't you know that I know about his development?" I refrained, though, and I just got all my emotions out by crying on the way to work. I am not sure what I looked like each day I came to work, but I imagine I looked pretty rough. Everyone probably chocked it up to me being a new mom. Sometimes motherhood can be an easy excuse for looking haphazard.

Needless to say, the transition from maternity leave with Grayson to working again was a rough one for me. This time, however, the transition does not seem nearly as daunting. It definitely takes a lot of coordination and planning to go back to work, but I am not as emotional about the process as I was. Maybe I am speaking too soon, maybe I will be smacked in the face with working mom guilt, but the transition seems to be going okay. It helps that I am  only in the office two days - albeit two long days - a week, and I have the experience of knowing that having a child in daycare did not effect our attachment or overall happiness. At this point I would not take Grayson out of school. He absolutely loves going, and I have seen the benefits of having him around other children and having days filled with structured activities, activities that I would not have the energy or resources to do. As far as Lucy is concerned, she sleeps a vast majority of the day, so whether or not I am within arm's reach is not a pressing issue in her life right now.

For now I am pretty stable about returning to work, being a working mom. John mentioned that I may see being in the office as nice break, at time to get some rest. This is true to an extent. My office is very quiet and when I am at work I am able to control my schedule for the most part. Control of my schedule in any sort of way is unheard of when I am at home with the kids. I am at their mercy. At work I get to go to the bathroom without being interrupted - AMAZING. So, despite the emotional guilt, there are some perks  to spending a couple of days in the office. We will see how this pans out. In a few weeks I may be signing a different tune.

Friday Favorites

This week has gone by in a blur. Think that is how the last week before returning to work from a break always goes, extremely fast. Here are a few of my favorites from this week.

FAVORITE SHOPPING EXPERIENCE
Even though ReBlossom has been in business for a while, I just became acquainted with it when it moved locations and is now right down the road from my house. I am a huge fan of used kids clothing. It does not make much sense to buy something new for a child who is designed to get dirty and grow as fast as a weed. I am even a bigger fan of classy used clothing stores. I love not having to sift through ragged clothes to find the one diamond in the rough. ReBlossom has an excellent selection of clothing that does not look like it has ever been worn. I have a good system of selling clothes and getting new-to-us clothes with my store credit. So, basically, I plan to use ReBlossom simply as a clothing exchange. Good stuff.

FAVORITE CRAIGSLIST FIND

I have been scouring Craigslist for new furniture. I love the game of Craigslist. I like wheeling and dealing. I put our couch on Craigslist on Monday. I received over 30 inquiries within three hours of posting the ad. I was shocked. Our couch was nice, but not amazing. I received a number of emails with very personal stories and begging for the couch. At the end of the day we sold the couch to a man for $25 more than we advertised, since we had so much interest. The man drove over an hour to get the couch. When he saw it he said, "Oh, I thought it was micro fiber and cleaner." He still took the couch, so all was well, but I keep wondering if he was satisfied. 

I wonder how many inquiries have been made about this one-of-a-kind jewel. I like to think of it as usable art. The ad adds some richness to the whole situation. The seller really believes in this chair and has a vision for it, so much that he is charging $200. 

"I made this chair myself out of a shopping cart. Cushions would make a nice touch but they really aren't necessary; it's really comfortable as is. The edges have been smoothed where I cut, so there are no sharp edges. Unique, funky, and comfy! A conversation piece and a sturdy piece of furniture for your porch (or wherever else you want it to go). " 

FAVORITE TUBE

I stumbled onto one of Amaka's YouTube videos when I was researching the easiest way to make skirts for Lucy. I completely abandoned my research after watching a minute of Amaka. I became engrossed in her YouTube station. Why is she not a sensation? She has so many quotable lines and her banter is hysterical. I also love her choice of DIY projects. YouTube is made for folks like Amaka. Or, is it that folks like Amaka are made for YouTube? Either way, I am hooked. 

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Happy Weekend!